My go-to website

For over a year Chumplady.com has been my first port of call when I’m in the mood to laugh at the absurdities of life.

This is a very good article. I hope she won’t mind my linking to it.

Boris and the Tories: It’s time to put up or shut up

The most frustrating thing about this bunch of silver spoon imbeciles running the country is their continuing reactive approach. 

So we’re heading towards another lockdown are we? And then what? A couple more months of Eat Out To Help Out? Another clarion call telling us to get our lazy fat arses back to work? Who knows? Certainly not the government.

If we’re to sacrifice our health, our sanity, our livelihoods, and our liberty, how about some semblance of a plan? 

We’re weary and fatigued but we’re ready once again to play our part in attempting to tame this virus. But we need Boris and his acolytes to do what we pay them to do and make good on their side of the bargain. To finally show some leadership.

We need a plan, Boris. We need a roadmap that gives us some idea of why we’re doing what we’re being forced to do. And if you’re not able to provide us with such a plan then please do us all a favour and stand down. 

Let someone else take over. There’s every chance that they may not be able to do a better job than the one you have been doing. But there’s no doubt whatsoever that it won’t be any worse.

Oh, what a tangled web we weave

“How stand we now?-he told his tale
To Douglas; and with some avail;                       
  ‘Twas therefore gloom’d his rugged brow.-
Will Surrey dare to entertain,
‘Gainst Marmion, charge disproved and vain?
Small risk of that, I trow.
Yet Clare’s sharp questions must I shun;               
Must separate Constance from the Nun-
O, what a tangled web we weave,
When first we practise to deceive!
A Palmer too!-no wonder why
I felt rebuked beneath his eye:                       
I might have known there was but one,
Whose look could quell Lord Marmion.’”

excerpt from Marmion, by Sir Walter Scott

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Alan Minter

This is a little piece I wrote last week for Boxing News. I was very honoured to do so. Alan Minter was the first boxer I ever met. I was a 17-year-old wine waiter and he was drinking the wine. Our paths crossed a few times over the years. I liked him a lot. He was a very, very nice man.

Bloody hell… I wrote a poem!

Have no memory whatsoever of writing this. I did it five years ago apparently. Obviously wasn’t in the greatest of moods that day. I think it’s only the second poem I’ve ever written in my life. So I thought I’d re-blog it.

This is the world we live in

This is the world we live in:
Where people live and people die,
Where people fuck and people cry,
Where people walk and drive and fly,
And don’t know where or when or why,
This is the world we live in.

This is the world we’re lost in:
Where God is love and God is hate,
Depending on which town or state,
Or street where you originate,
For that is where they seal your fate,
And point you down the road you take,
This is the world we’re lost in.

This is the place we hope in:
Where bombs explode and all the while,
You go to work and try to smile,
And wonder why they want you dead,
Perhaps it’s something that you said?
More likely those who use your name,
To do their deeds and play their game,
Whichever case, it ends the same,
It’s you who is the one to blame,
This is place we hope in.

This is the place we love in:
Where people starve to death in pain,
And children die before they’re named,
For want of but a fist of rice,
That rains down on the bride,
So nice…
…to see that they are having fun,
Lives just beginning, others’ done,
This is the place we love in.

This is the land we dream in:
Where those who have are given more,
And those without are shown the door,
Where rich stay rich, and poor stay poor,
And live their lives below the law,
And kill and rob and maim and whore,
To raise themselves above the floor,
And crane their necks towards the sky,
But never know the reason why,
This is the world we dream in.

This is the land of freedom:
Where actions cost but talk is cheap,
About a megabyte a week,
Is all you need to squawk and Tweet,
And with that you can wipe your feet,
Of all the prayers you should be praying,
The info you should be relaying,
The demons that you should be slaying,
(Only saying…)
This is the land of freedom.

This is the world we live in:
A land of plenty for the few,
The rest of us must just make do,
And try our best to make it through,
This is the world we live in.

RIP Alan Minter

So sad to hear of the death of one or my heroes Alan Minter. I first met him in 1979 when I was a 17-year-old wine waiter. The last time I saw him was in 2018, when I wrote this article for Boing News.

Latest watercolour

Haven’t been able (or bothered) to paint for a while but did this the other day. It started out as just a drawing. Adding colour was an afterthought.

Tyson Fury article for Boxing News

Can any nice people out there please help my daughter Sofia?

My sixteen-year-old-daughter, Sofia, is hoping to raise money so that she can travel to Uganda in the summer to help deprived people living there.

Working with the charity The Great Generation her ambition is to supply underprivileged Ugandans with books, female hygiene products, building materials and essential educational resources.

Sofia has never done anything like this before in her life and I am extremely proud of her for wanting to make a difference in this way.

Below is a link to her Wonderful crowdfunding campaign. I would be so grateful if you could make a small financial contribution or, alternatively, share, retweet or reblog this appeal.

Many thanks,

Ian

https://www.wonderful.org/fundraiser/thegreatgenerationugandaexpedition2020-8987bc4e